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“Don’t stare.” “Don’t point.” “Come here.” “Lets go.” These are things we often hear parents say to children when they see something out of the ordinary. It could be a teenager with bright blue hair, a same sex couple kissing, or a person with a disability having a meltdown. Obviously, there are hundreds of millions of things that people consider out of the “norm.” A few years ago, I wrote an entry about going out of the norm. I just had gotten a drastic haircut that many considered out of the norm, and I talked about how people need to accept things that are out of their norm. While that’s still entirely true, there are some double standards that many minority groups, including the disability community, impose on themselves.
“How do you treat a person with a disability? Treat them the same as you do anyone else.” There are several memes on social media that have that message. It portrays that people who have disabilities should and want to be treated just like everyone else. While that’s true most of the time, the reality is that people with disabilities often require additional attention and support to be able to live life. The extra support needed automatically puts a stigma on us that in fact we can’t be treated just like everyone else. It’s not a negative thing, but it’s just a fact. Accommodations like handicapped parking, accessible seating, and disability benefits just amplify the fact that we cannot be treated like everyone else. While these accommodations are completely necessary, they automatically put people with disabilities out of the norm.
Having said that, there are some things that sometimes happen in the disability community that portray the idea that we don’t want to be treated like everyone else. Several years ago, I wrote an article about “perks” of having a disability having a disability. I discussed how when I was young my family felt very uncomfortable when going to the theme parks in Orlando because we were always ushered to the front of lines just because I had a disability. Why should we get special treatment just because I have a disability? They have tightened up the process since then, but that situation shows that people who have disabilities get special treatment. Personally, I feel that there are very few circumstances when that’s appropriate (like when a person is terminally or if someone has difficulty waiting in line specifically due to a disability).
Each spring, I cringe as the Night to Shine posts start popping up on social media. A Night to Shine is a program Tim Tebow sponsors. It’s a prom for people with disabilities. They host several across the country and usually many media outlets pick it up as a feel-good news story. At first, I’m sure most people think that it’s a great wholesome idea, but is highlighting people with disabilities going to a segregated dance really what we want to see in the 21st century? I know there are many different opinions about this, so I’ll leave it at that. Regardless of the various opinions, it’s another example of treating people with disabilities different.
Another controversial topic in the disability community is when adults with intellectual disabilities visit Santa. I don’t have an intellectual disability or have a close family member who does, so I’m going to refrain from sharing my opinion on this. Whether people agree with it or not, doesn’t change the fact that when adults with disabilities visit Santa, it’s out of the norm and amplifies that we aren’t treated the same as those without disabilities.
As a person who has a significant physical disability that often creates assumptions that I have an intellectual disability, it can be challenging to demystify wrong ideas when there are so many double standards. The disability community preaches that we want to be treated just like everyone else, but yet, when people see us getting special treatment or partaking in activities meant for children, what is the average person supposed to think?
We have come a long way in “normalizing disability,” but we have a ways to go. Do we, as a disability community, really expect to be treated like everyone else? In my opinion, that’s a question that we’re still trying to figure out how to answer. On one hand, we want to be treated as “normal” as possible, but, on the other, society continues to see people with disabilities receiving special treatment and participating in activities that aren’t age appropriate. I’m not sure that we do actually want to be treated like everyone else. Sure, in some way many of us do, but, in other ways, it’s just not feasible to “treat people with disabilities just like everyone else.” Maybe the disability community needs to start thinking about how we should reframe our message. Do we really want to be treated like everyone else or do we want to be accepted and respected for the people we are? I tend to think it’s a mixture of both ideas for most people in the community. At least, that’s the case with me!
***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors
NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO: 35 years after ADA, people with disabilities still find hotels unaccommodating
By SD Network, 2025-12-31
This article from NPR highlights the ongoing challenges faced by people with disabilities in accessing accommodations at hotels, even 35 years after the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Despite federal laws mandating accessibility, an NPR survey and interviews reveal widespread issues, including inaccessible rooms, design flaws, and inadequate staff training. The article shares personal stories of travelers encountering barriers such as high beds, inaccessible bathrooms, broken pool lifts, and non-functional wheelchair shuttles. It explores systemic issues within the hotel industry, such as ownership complexities and high staff turnover, which hinder compliance with ADA standards. The piece also discusses the role of government enforcement, the impact of "drive-by lawsuits," and the lack of accessibility in alternative lodging options like Airbnb. While some hotels and staff are praised for their efforts, many travelers feel excluded and frustrated, leading some to avoid travel altogether. The article underscores the need for consistent accessibility improvements and highlights the business opportunity for hotels that prioritize inclusivity.
WISCONSIN PUBLIC RADIO: Northern Wisconsin town agrees to bring accessible voting machine back
By SD Network, 2025-12-30
After losing its case in two federal courts, a northern Wisconsin town has agreed to use an electronic voting machine designed for people with disabilities. The dispute stems from the town’s 2023 decision to remove voting machines due to their “controversial nature.” In a settlement approved by U.S. District Court Judge James Peterson on Dec. 19, the Rusk County Town of Thornapple agreed to make at least one voting machine designed for people with disabilities available in all federal elections through 2026.
ABC NEWS: For the 1st time ever, a person who uses a wheelchair will fly to space
By SD Network, 2025-12-22
A historic milestone in space exploration is about to happen, as Michaela "Michi" Benthaus, an aerospace and mechatronics engineer at the European Space Agency (ESA), is set to become the first person who uses a wheelchair to travel to space. The article details her journey aboard Blue Origin's NS-37 mission, which will take her and five other crew members past the Kármán line on a suborbital flight. Benthaus, who suffered a spinal cord injury in 2018, has been an advocate for accessibility in space exploration and has participated in various space-related activities, including a Zero-G research flight and an analog astronaut mission.
Major changes to ABLE accounts are coming in 2026. The ABLE Age Adjustment Act moves the onset age of the disability to 46. It was previously 26. The change will allow more people to be eligible to create ABLE accounts.
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On December 2, 2025, the IRIS 1915(c) waiver renewal was approved by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) for a five-year period with effective dates from January 1, 2026, to December 31, 2030. Learn more about the IRIS Waiver Renewal. |
NEW HORIZONS UNLIMITED: A Story of Being Human: A Future Worth Fighting For
By SD Network, 2025-12-19
New Horizons Un-Limited interviewed BPDD's Executive Director Beth Swedeen about current threats to disability programs and the power of Wisconsin's disability community. She also discussed how great it is to see so many stepping up and speaking out.
THE COMMONWEALTH FUND; How Medical Frailty Exemption Policies Can Offer a Lifeline to People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses When Medicaid Work Requirements Are Implemented
By SD Network, 2025-12-19
H.R. 1 requires Medicaid expansion states to implement work requirements by January 1, 2027. Medical frailty exemptions exist but processes are underdeveloped. While 34% of Medicaid enrollees report disabilities, only 10% qualify based on disability determination. About 5.3 million people expected to lose coverage. States need new IT systems costing $10-270 million to identify medically frail enrollees. Authors recommend broad definitions, self-attestation options, and reasonable accommodations.
FORBES: How Immigration Curbs Make Care Less Affordable For Seniors And Others
By SD Network, 2025-12-19
Personal care aide pay averaged $16.78/hour in 2024, but actual family cost through agencies reached $34/hour with annual costs approaching $78,000. Over 300,000 aides left during the pandemic. About one-third of home care workers are immigrants; many now face deportation or fear for family members.
THE NEW YORK TIMES: More Disabled People Can Open Special Savings Accounts. Do You Qualify?
By SD Network, 2025-12-16
Starting January 2026, ABLE accounts expand eligibility to people who became disabled by age 46 (previously 26), potentially qualifying 6 million more people including 1 million veterans. Accounts allow disabled people to save up to $100,000 without affecting SSI or Medicaid benefits. Annual contribution limit increases to $20,000 in 2026, with ABLE-to-Work feature now permanent. Currently 223,000 accounts hold $2.9 billion. Funds can be used for disability-related expenses tax-free.