Family. Health. Career. Friends. Faith. Finances. What do these things have in common? They’re all common priorities for most adults. There are many different types of priorities that people have. Often, circumstances dictate what people prioritize in their lives. Sometimes, individuals have the ability to choose what their priorities are. We don’t even think about it, but we prioritize different things every day. While some priorities never change for people, many change over time. Many times, people are in disagreement about what priorities should be, but what people choose to or not to prioritize is ultimately the decision of the individual.  

While most people my age have families and kids which obviously are their priority, I find myself having totally different priorities. Recently, I was in a meeting for one of the many councils I’m on, and I told them that I wouldn’t be renewing my appointment when my term ends next summer. This particular council does a lot of great work around various disability issues in the state. This council has a lot subcommittee meetings and most of the members are deeply dedicated and spend endless hours working on various council projects. While I full-heartedly believe in everything they’re doing and would love be able to help more, I just can’t. Partly because of circumstances and partly due to personal preferences, my priorities are very different from many people who are on the council.

Like most people, my priorities have shifted over the years. After graduating college, my two main priorities were to move into an apartment and get a job. Why were those such major priorities for me? Likely because it was just the “normal” thing to do after graduation. A few years back, I wrote a journal entry about expectations. As I explained in that entry, growing up, I had the same expectations as my peers, so, after college, the next natural things for me to do were to get an apartment and find a job. Obviously, both of those milestones took some extra time and effort to make happen, but, with support, I was able to accomplished both of those priorities.

As I got more involved in disability advocacy as a whole, I quickly realized that I was going to have to set limits and prioritize what I wanted to be involved with. For the first few years, I tried to be involved in everything I could. I said yes to every opportunity that came available. I was living on cloud nine being involved with so many things. I felt like I was making a difference and contributing to society; I absolutely loved it!

A few years into it, I began having more health and care problems. As hard as I tried to do everything, I couldn’t. I had no choice but to prioritize my health and care issues because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to function enough to do any of the advocacy things that I love. Thankfully, in the disability advocacy field, when health and care issues arise, people tend to understand why you might not be able to participate as much—often the issues that sometimes prevent us from participating are the things that we advocate for. It’s a pretty unique happenstance.

As the years have gone by, I’ve found myself continuing to try to find a good balance. I’ve learned my passion in the disability advocacy field is around long-term care and supports. While things like transportation, housing, and employment are vital to those with disabilities, for many people, including myself, the long-term care system is really what determines our life as we know it. I realize that housing, transportation, etc… are usually seen as part of long-term care. While those things are definitely important, when I say long-term care, I mean the actual hands-on care that people need to physically survive. This is my priority of advocacy for a selfish reason—it’s the area that affects me the most.  It’s something I deal with and will continue to deal with every single day. A big part of it is the ongoing caregiver crisis, but it goes beyond that. The “system” is not setup for people with significant disabilities to live life in the community like everyone else does. Thanks to years of advocacy, there’s no doubt that it has significantly improved, but there’s a long way to go. This will likely be my advocacy priority until the day I die. It’s something that is near and dear to my heart because I live and breathe it every day.

While I’d love to be involved in more councils and projects, I have lots of other things that take priority in my life. Things such as hiring and scheduling caregivers and managing the ins and outs of life take time. Albeit, very part-time, but I also work. To me, having a job is an accomplishment and it’s one that I’m extremely proud of. I never want to use this as an excuse, but it’s a fact that has to be considered when I talk about priorities—people who have cerebral palsy use up to three times as much energy and our bodies age faster than the average person. When you take that into consideration, it makes you think about life a little differently.

In recent years, I’ve really taken a step back in what I volunteer for. Although, it’s extremely important, there’s more to life than advocacy and work. As we age, we realize we need to take time to do what we enjoy and spend time with those close to us. While advocacy will always be a priority in my life, there are several other things that are above it.

Everyone has different priorities and they change as we go through this journey called life. I encourage everyone to take a moment to think about your personal priorities. Are you satisfied with how you’re prioritizing the things that are most important to you? If not, take a few minutes to think about how you can make changes in your life to prioritize what’s most important to you. Remember, you only get one life to live!

***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors