Often, February is thought of as the month of love.Yes, this is because of Valentines Day.Like many others, I like to refer to the holiday as the Hallmark holiday or Singles Awareness Day.Personally, I believe that we should show love and affection to people we care about every day.Why do we need a special day dedicated to it?Shouldnt it be every day?Regardless, whether you choose to celebrate Valentines Day or not, thanks to advertising, we are often forced to think about our love life around this time of the year.

Ive shared in the past that I was raised to believe I should and could do everything just like my able bodied peers.So, when my friends started dating, in my mind, I should have too. In junior high and high school, just like other teenage girls, I had crushes on boys.For school dances, even though, I never had a date, I attended every dance with a group of friends.I was incredibly blessed to have a group of girlfriends who made sure I was included.That said, like most normal teenagers, they went on dates and slow danced with guys.I remember being and acting happy for them, but then crying to my mom when I got home because I wanted that too.I should mention I had a great guy friend who would take my chair and spin me around at dances.It was great, but I knew it wasnt the same as slow dancing. It was during those years when my mom first explained that it was going to be harder for me to find someone special because of my disability. She said it would take a very special man, but she has encouraged me to keep trying and not to give up hope.

In my last entry, I discussed how the Internet has enhanced my life in many ways.One thing I neglected to mention is how the Internet has opened up the dating world for me.I hesitate to share this story because it doesnt sound very appropriate due to us being young, but it shows how the Internet can bring people together.As I mentioned in my last entry, when the Internet first became popular, I joined many egroups related to disabilities.Through one of those groups, I met a man that was close to my age who had very similar limitations and circumstances. When we first met, we were 13 and 14 years old.We talked through instant messenger. It was really neat because we had so many similarities.Being teenagers, we realized itd be cool to date.He lived out of state, so our dating experience consisted of chatting online.After chatting for awhile, we wanted to meet in-person.My family decided to take detour on our way to a family reunion one summer so I could meet him.I wish I could say it was love-at-first-sight, but it was really more of a unique connection because of our similar circumstances.Our families spent the day sharing experiences and stories with one another.It was very neat to connect with someone who is so like you.After we met, we dated on and off for a couple years, but, due to distance among other factors, it didnt work out.We still are friends and occasionally talk today.I think well always be friends.

Im on a couple online dating sites to try to meet people.When I write my profile for those, I always fully disclose that I have a physical disability and that I need assistance with all of my basic needs.Im very aware that disclosing it puts me at a huge disadvantage, but I feel its crucial to be honest with people regarding my situation.If people cant see past my disability and see me for the person I really am (which Ive learned sadly that many people cant), then I obviously dont want to waste my time.Ive had a few flings I guess you could say, but, unfortunately, those didnt work out.Since I see that most of my friends and family (younger sister and cousins) now have significant others, I think I tend to quickly assume a friendship is something more when its not.

Im often asked if Id rather date someone with or without a disability.To me, it really doesnt matter.If I do find that someone special, hes going to have to adapt to my circumstances and vice versa.I have friends with disabilities who have significant others with and without disabilities.I guess it really just depends.

For me, personally, the whole relationship issue really didnt bother me too bad until I was in my mid-twenties.I guess that was when I saw many of my friends and my sister begin serious relationships.Nowadays, I find myself with multiple weddings to attend.Although, I love going to weddingsespecially those of friendsI often wonder if Ill ever be a bride.

Due to my circumstances, I understand that the chances are very small, but I can only hope and dream that I find that special someone.My mom has told me many times that its perfectly okay if it never happens; nobody expects it to.Unlike other families, my parents have never pushed relationships. If it happens, great; but if it doesnt, thats okay too.Having said that, though, it doesnt mean I dont want it.Ill never give up trying to find a soulmate. I think that by me having the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone shows just how normal I really am.

So, no, Im not a big fan of all of the Valentines Day hoopla.Id like to think of every day as Valentines Day because I love my family and friends all of the timenot just on a certain day. If I ever happen to find that special someone, maybe my opinion of the holiday will change; until then, though, I just think of it as day to love my family and friends a little more!

***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors.