Tis the season!Another holiday season is upon us. No matter what or how people choose to celebrate, the holidays often cause at least a little stress for most. Whetheritis tackling the chaos of Black Friday to get the best deals, waiting for hours in airports for delayed flights, spending hours trying to get the decorations just perfect, or cooking for hours on end, this time of the year can often bring on added stress.For people with disabilities, its no different.As a matter of fact, I read an article awhile ago about how the holiday season can often be more stressful for those with disabilities and even cause some depression.As I get older, I couldnt agree with this more.

Ive written before about how just because I have a disability, I dont see myself any different.I shop for gifts.I decorate my apartment.I send out Christmas cards.Sure, I need assistance completing these tasks, but I enjoy doing these. For years now, my mom and I have had the tradition that we shop on Black Friday. We look through the ads, make our lists, and plan out where were going the night before.Many times, we often arent even after the doorbusters or anything.You see, since I live on my own and because, for various reasons, I dont have the opportunity to get to the mall and other stores unless Im with my family, I usually do most of my holiday shopping on Black Friday.Yes, I do some shopping online, but I really enjoy getting out.It has become a great tradition for Mom and I.

This year, instead of having one of my care givers help me decorate my place, I asked two of my friends to help me.They were former care workers and are now friends.They came over, had dinner with me, and helped me decorate.We had fun laughing and catching up.I dont get opportunities to socialize very often, so it was fun.I admit, I felt guilty when I asked them if theyd be interested in helping me because I never want to seem like Im using my friends. Ive learned over the years, though, that true friends dont mind helping me.

As always, I will be going to my parents for the holidays.Ill spend over a week with them.During that time, Ill get to see friends and family, go out to eat, shop, and be social.I know Im incredibly blessed that my mom and dad are still able to take care of me.There will come a time when that wont be the case, and I might have to spend the holidays by myself.That saddens me. I know my sister will always try to include me in her life, but I never ever want to be a burden to her.As the years go on, those thoughts cross my mind more and more.

Im big on traditions.My family doesnt have many, but I like the ones that we do have.Over the years, they have had to change.My sister has moved on in life.Currently, she lives out of state and has a significant other.Shes coming home for Christmas this year which Im excited about, but, like we have for a few years now, my family will have to share her.Shell split her time between our family and her boyfriends family.Even though, I really approve of (Im the big sister) and have come to love her boyfriend, Im still not used to having him around all of the timeespecially over the holidays.I know its a normal occurrence in life, and Im truly happy for my little sister; its just hard sometimes because I know that its very likely something that Ill never experience.

Same goes for family get-togethers over the holidays.As Ive mentioned before, Im the oldest cousin on both sides, so when I see my younger cousins dating, getting engaged, getting married, and having babies, it can be hard.Again, its not because Im not happy for themI amit just can be very difficult to witness because its something I desperately want, but probably will never happen due to having severe limitations. Im not giving up hope; Im being realistic. When I have moments during family gatherings, I try to sneak away to a private area for a few minutes to compose myself.My mom, dad, and sister understand my feelings and do their best to console me and bring me back to the festivities.Im pretty good at seeing happiness through other peoples eyes, but, sometimes, I admit, situations can be too much for me to handle.

The holiday season brings different kinds of stress for everyone.There are many different ways to deal with stress.For me, personally, I find it helpful to remember all things I do have and think about all of things Ive accomplished despite my disability.Admittedly, sometimes its really hard to do, but we need to focus and make the best of what we do have; not dwell on what could, would, or should have been.All the time, but especially during the holidays, we need to take a moment to be grateful for all that we do have!

I wish all of you happiness, hope, and a time to think of all the ways you are blessed and have blessed others!

***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors.