Can I add you as a friend on Facebook? Do you follow so-and-so on X or Instagram? Did you see what he/she just posted? Did you get this snap? Did you see the Tiktok about this or that? Like it or not, questions like these have become part of normal conversation in today’s world. Like it or not, social media has become a prime source of communication in our society. There is a wide spectrum of how much people use all of the platforms that have been developed. While some people avoid it at all costs, others literally make a living from it. It not only is a source of entertainment, it has become an information enterprise for everything imaginable. Social media has opened up a world of opportunities for people—especially those who have disabilities or health conditions.

“What did you post now?” my mom used to frequently ask me when she’d get a random call from my grandmother. Yes, my late grandma was an avid Facebook user. I don’t know which of my cousins helped her set it up, but she absolutely loved being able to see what all of her grandchildren were up to. She’d comment on nearly every single thing I’d post. I think she especially liked it because it gave her a way to connect with me since she couldn’t talk with me on the phone. I remember when I first got Facebook. It was my second or third year of college and my friend came into my dorm room and asked if I had heard of Facebook. I hadn’t, so she helped me set my profile up. At the time, I didn’t think much of it as it just seemed like the cool thing for college students to do. I started adding a couple friends from high school and it was fun to reconnect.

It wasn’t until summer when I was at home that I began to realize what opportunities Facebook had for me. As more and more features were added, I learned just how beneficial Facebook would be. Not only is it a way for me to connect with friends and family, it’s a social outlet where I can express my thoughts and feelings. This is where it has gotten me in trouble. Having significant physical limitations and also not being able to verbally speak leaves me pretty isolated—it’s just a fact. Facebook has become a prime source of socialization for me. Although, I’ve gotten much better about not venting and over sharing, especially in the early years, I used it to vent about my problems or feelings. There were many times when my mom would get a call from grandma asking what was wrong or what my “status” (that term isn’t really even used anymore) was about. Admittedly, I was the queen at vague-booking—I’d post something vague and then not give details or reasons why I said that? Why did I do that? Was I seeking attention or pity? I’m embarrassed to admit it, but probably. I try not to do that too often anymore, but I do slip up once in awhile.

Facebook has also allowed people with disabilities to connect with each other. I belong to many cerebral palsy groups and I’ve learned so many things from them. From tricks how to make toilet seats more stable (yes, that was topic because so many people with cerebral palsy have problems with toilet seats breaking), to side effects of medications (that doctors may not be aware of), those groups a source of a lot of information. There are also Wisconsin specific disability groups that I belong to. Obviously, I think everyone reading this probably can guess that those have been pretty active lately with all the changes happening, but, even before, they were a great resource for people navigating the disability system. We’re able to share experiences, resources, and help each other out. It’s pretty neat.

In recent years, I’ve used many job groups on Facebook to recruit caregivers. I’ve actually found quite a few workers in groups. Until a few months ago, I used a private group to communicate with all of my workers. The only problem with that we that I had to be “friends” with all of the people who I hired. It never turned into a big issue, but it wasn’t ideal. I now use a different messaging app that works pretty well—it’s a little bit more of a professional way to do things which has been working pretty well. My workers’ life can be kept private, and so can mine.

Having said that, though, there were a handful of times when social media has saved the day!  A couple of times I’ve noticed that a worker has posted that they’re going out of town or going to be doing something else when they were scheduled to be working with me. We were able to figure it out and avoid a problem, but it just explains how social media can be really helpful in certain scenarios. In other situations, I’ve been able to get some assistance with various things by posting on social media. The example that comes to mind is a few years ago when my straw fell out of my water bottle right away after my worker left in the morning. At the time, I was alone all day, so it was a bit problematic. I posted something to the effect of I was going to be really thirsty that day, and friends commented asking what they could do to help. Someone was able to stop by and help me. Those are just two examples of how Facebook has literally helped me solve problems.

I’ve written mostly about Facebook in this because that is what I use the majority of the time, but people with disabilities use a variety of platforms. Some influencers have made a career out of sharing their story on social media. There are lots of influencers spend hours creating content about their personal lives to share on many different platforms.

Personally, I have a love/hate relationship with social media. Most of the time, I love being able to connect with so many people who I otherwise wouldn’t be able to. I love it; however, admittedly, there are times when it is too much. To no fault of their own, people often post about exciting updates and milestones happening for them and their families. While I love seeing what everyone is up to, some days it’s too much. I selfishly can’t help but wish I could post similar things. When I post about exciting things happening in life, I often wonder what people think. Do people think I’m being too boastful? Will people care about this? Does this sound like I’m provoking pity or praise? On the other hand, though, I know my family and friends enjoy learning what I’m up to. Since I don’t have many opportunities for social interaction, Facebook has become a social outlet. Over the years, I’ve gotten better at finding a good balance. While I’ve learned to refrain from posting most of my negative thoughts and opinions, I’m able to post enough to receive social connections I need.

Will social media continue to be as prevalent as it is today? Probably not, but until the next big technology innovation come into fruition, it gives many people access to a world of opportunities!

***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors