Stacy Ellingen

Stacy's Journal: Celebrating a Hero

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By: Stacy Ellingen
Posted in: Stacy's Journal

Batman. Superman. Spiderman. Elsa. Belle. Monana. Whichever fictional character it may be, kids often idolize a specific character starting at a young age. As kids get older, those characters switch from fictional people to real-life superstars. Often, teens and young adults have obsession over a famous celebrity or athlete. Whoever the famous person may be, people often look up to her/him because she/he has had a positive influence on their lives. Celebrities and famous people are often referred to as superheroes. Whether we admit it or not, every single person in the world likely has a superhero that they look up to. People with disabilities are no different. Our superheroes may be different than the normal celebrities people commonly think of, but that’s because we often have a different perspective on life.

A few years ago, I wrote about the heroes in my life. I talked about how my family and friends are my heroes. I explained how I consider the assistant who I was blessed to have from second grade through 12th grade to be one of my heroes. All of my family members, especially my mom, dad, and sister, are my forever superheroes because they’ve rallied around me and supported me literally since day one. I wouldn’t be anything without their continued steadfast love and support.

While that journal entry still holds true today (and always will), a few years ago, I was blessed to meet a friend who has turned into another hero of mine. Let me preface this by sharing that I’m utterly embarrassed to admit that in junior high and high school, I deliberately avoided students with intellectual disabilities. This was for obvious reasons---I felt the need to prove my intelligence and wanted to desperately fit in. Looking back, I can give myself grace because I understand why I did it, but how ironic is it that 20+ years later, I tell you that one of my heroes is someone who has an intellectual disability? How experience and education can change one’s perspective!

I first met Cindy Bentley about ten or eleven years ago with I was appointed to the Independent Living Council of Wisconsin. Our paths have crossed hundreds of times since then as we work on many of the same disability advocacy things together. Somewhere along the lines, we became friends. It’s not my place to share all of her story, but this amazing woman is the definition of resilience and self-determination. She had a very rough beginning and spent many years in a state institution.

Recently, I was honored to have been able to attend an event celebrating the 40th anniversary of Cindy not only living but THRIVING in the community. She has done far more than most people will do in a lifetime. She is the executive director of a statewide disability organization and has done more than she even realizes for the disability community.

What I admire most about Cindy is that she’s not afraid to speak up when she doesn’t understand something. It doesn’t matter what the event is or who is there, she will speak up if she doesn’t understand what’s being talked about. She will also go to bat for people who are being mistreated or aren’t getting the support they need. She’s not afraid to make waves to create change.

Admittedly, while I was at her celebration, I had a moment where I sat there looking around the packed gymnasium of people (I probably knew 75%) and just thought how amazing it was that all these people came together to rally around this one amazing individual to help her succeed in the community. The saying, “it takes a village to raise a child” is applicable to adults as well. As I’ve said in past entries, I know that I have a village of people who support me. It was incredible to see Cindy’s village come together to support her.

As we were driving back from the event, I said to my mom, “20 years ago, I wouldn’t have been caught dead at something like that, but that woman has taught me more than any college class ever did. I love her.” It’s really cool to see how perspectives can shift over time. It was really a special event.

I full-heartedly say that Cindy is a hero in my book. As someone with a significant physical disability, I look to Cindy to be reminded of perseverance and inspiration for whatever challenges life throws my way. I’m reminded that almost anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Thank you, Cindy, for being one of my heroes. Please always remember how loved you are!

***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors.

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