Being a starter on a sports team.  Standing up in a wedding.  Getting a promotion at work.  Being asked to speak at a big event.  What do these things have in common?  Things such as these make an individual feel valued.  Being valued is a psychological need of every single person on this earth.  There are a million different ways to make a person feel valued, and what makes an individual feel that way varies from person-to-person.  Feeling valued, wanted, and needed is essential to everybody.  In today’s society, it’s especially important that people feel valued.  People who have disabilities or health conditions are no different; we need and deserve to feel valued just like everybody else. In fact, sometimes, I believe people who have any sort of limitation have the need to feel more valued because, the truth is, society still doesn’t view us as equal. 

“I know you’re busy, but I’d like to come visit with Parker a day next week.  We won’t stay long.  What day would work best?,” my sister recently texted me.  Nearing the end of her maternity leave with my second nephew and wanting to visit my parents as well, she was trying to find a day to drive up.  Having talked with my parents, they told her how busy I’ve recently become.  After looking at my calendar and texting her back with the few days and times that’d work, I was talking with my mom and I said, “it’s weird that people have to schedule around my stuff. It’s usually vice versa.” What I mean by this is that I’m not used to being this busy.

As I’ve discussed in past entries, I’ve learned the hard way that my body can handle so much.  A few years ago, I took on another very part-time job doing very similar things I do for InControl Wisconsin.  People had reached out to me and encouraged me to apply.  The fact that people thought that I had the right skills and would bring value to the organization meant so much to me.  However, as I explained, a few months into the job, I ended up having emergency surgery.  After doing my best to continue working while I recovered, I discovered that my body couldn’t handle it.  Much to my dismay, after many doctor and hospital visits, I ended up resigning from the position. People totally understood, but it was really hard on me because I knew that people valued me and wanted me to do it.

That was nearly two years ago.  Knock-on-wood, my health has vastly improved and I’ve been on a really good streak.  Because of that, I’ve been able to participate in more activities and take on more responsibilities. I’m not sure of the reason, but it seems like in the past month or so, I’ve been fortunate to have been asked to participate in several different advocacy activities. With almost all of these opportunities, people reached out to me and asked me to participate in the particular activity because they thought I’d add value to the project.  Due to timing, I had to say no to one or two of the things, but I’ve been able to do most of the opportunities.

Having people reach out to me because they think I bring value to something is an unexplainable feeling.  Although, the perception of persons with disabilities has vastly improved, I still constantly feel the need to prove myself.  As I’ve said before, being in a wheelchair, having involuntary movements, and being nonverbal, I know people make assumptions.  I get it—I make them too.  We all do.  It’s human nature to.  Admittedly, knowing this, makes me self-conscious and I find myself always trying to show people that, despite my physical challenges, I can accomplish things and be successful.

Knowing that people value who I am and what I do greatly boosts my confidence.  It does for everyone, but, for people who have blatant stereotypes attached to them, being wanted and needed means a little more. Personally, as I’ve shared before, when I get discouraged or depressed because things aren’t going well or I can’t do something, my mom reminds me of all that I’ve accomplished and of all the people who value me.  Honestly, depending on the situation, often I shrug it off because she’s my mom and she has to say those things; however, deep down, it helps to be reminded.

Being valued greatly improves one’s self-worth.  Everybody benefits from getting a boost of confidence every once in a while. Have you made somebody feel valued recently?  My challenge for you is to make a friend, family member, or colleague feel valued today.  By doing so, there’s a strong possibility that you’ll feel more valued as well! 

***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors.