As the saying goes, “you don’t always get what you wish for.”  It’s common to hear people say “make a wish,” after singing the Happy Birthday song. It’s also common to ask people to make a wish list for special occasions such as Christmas or birthdays.  Regardless of the situation, when people are asked to make a wish as adults, it often provokes some thoughts. What do I wish for? Is that wish even possible? What would happen if it came true? People wish for all sorts of different things. Little kids usually wish for toys they want. As adults, we often wish for things that are not tangible. People with disabilities are no different. While our wishes may be a little different than most, we still have fantasy dreams and seemingly unattainable wishes.

As a kid in third grade, I vividly remember, as an assignment, we had to write down two wishes—one realistic and the other one probably unrealistic. We had read a story about wishes or something, and the teacher was trying to get us to think about realistic vs. fantasy or unrealistic. For my realistic wish or goal, I wrote down I wished I could eat a whole pizza (I have no idea where that came from that day, but that’s what I wrote down). For my other wish, I wrote that I wished I didn’t have cerebral palsy. I remember the teachers being surprised and not really knowing how to react. Looking back, I wonder what I was thinking as eight or nine old year kid?  Did I really feel that different? Was there something that I was unable to physically do on the playground that day? What made me say that at that young age? Of course, I don’t know the answer, but I find it interesting that I remember that particular time. It’s something that I still wish for to this day. As I’ve discussed in previous entries, unlike many people with similar circumstances, I would love to be “cured”.

I remember my first year of junior high my mom asked me to make a Christmas wish list. I listed some tangible items, but then the last wish I wrote down was for my two best friends from elementary school to be able to attend the same junior high school I went to. Because of where we lived, I attended a different junior high school than most of my friends from elementary.  I made friends in junior high, but they were never as close. As a teenager with significant physical challenges, making friends was a bit of a challenge. Obviously, that wish couldn’t happen, but it just shows how my wishes have always been a little different even at a young age.

As an adult, my wishes haven’t changed too much. While I still wish for a cure, I find myself realizing that a cure probably isn’t going to happen in my lifetime. I wish for other intangible things like love, a relationship with a significant other, and a family. While I know these things may not be in the cards for me, I will always have a desire and wish for them. It’s a running joke between my mom and I—each time she asks me what I want for my birthday or Christmas, I tell her I want a guy. She always says the same thing to me. “I can’t help you with that one,” she says.

As a person with limited mobility, I often wish I could visit people more. Obviously, during the pandemic, everyone feels that way, but when we’re not under restrictions, I wish I could just go visit my family and friends. Due to things like accessibility, transportation, and cares, I’m not able to just go visit people—I have to plan every detail if I go visit people. While I’m used to it and my family and friends understand, I would love to just hop in a car and go visit friends. Fortunately, my friends and family are pretty good at making the effort to come visit me or making arrangements far in advance, but I’d love to be able to spontaneously go visit them.

I also wish for other intangible things like health for my family and I, and better services to assist me. As I get older, my future is becoming more and more uncertain. With needing the amount of care I do, reality of my future is becoming increasingly important. How long will I be able to stay in my apartment? How much longer will my parents be able to take care of me? These questions are why I constantly wish for continued good health for my parents and I. Most adults likely wish for good health for their loved ones; however, when you rely on family as much as I do, you constantly worry about their health.

Wishes are like dreams. While some are tangible or realistic, others are far-fetched and fantasy like. Wishes and dreams often keep us going. A wish may seem impossible when first thought of, but, maybe after some planning and research, it might seem more doable. They may ignite energy in us to continue to strive for something that may or may not be possible. Almost everyone has both realistic and far-fetched wishes. Next time you blow out the candles on your birthday treat, I encourage you to make two wishes—one that seems attainable or realistic and one that doesn’t seem possible. I hope both wishes come true for you!

***The views expressed here are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of InControl Wisconsin, the Network or any of our sponsors.